Being a swag- A phase

Phase

There are ‘n’ number of books which actually tell us to be grateful everyday, to count out blessings, how to actually change ourselves, tips to heal from a bad past and so on and so forth. We read such kinds of books just because we are hurt by our loved ones or they leave us alone. The most important of all is we jot things down on a book so that we follow them dutifully with a lot of dedication. The minute we see our betrayer, we just freak out and forget all the rules and regulations that we just made to overcome them. Because there is a part in us which keeps on screaming inside us to be nice and humble no matter what it takes. That’s where we become weak and we give in, fail to ignore them. This is the main problem with ‘good people’. Yes, good people. I am not trying to discriminate between anyone or pointing others as bad ones. But, some people just move on like they don’t care. This is because they didn’t loved their betrayer to the deepest, which helps them to change spontaneously. But, people like me who just keep being polite no matter what others tell me on my face or back bitches to me find hard to move on.

Yes, this is from my personal experience. I am very friendly, but it’s not like I cry over loss of each and every friend in my life. I just get close to some of them and most obvious thing which we all do, we expect, I also expect from them. Which is actually a basic human nature. What we get is they take us for granted, which is actually a basic human nature again.

So the main point of this article is expect or take people granted, get hurt or hurt others. whatsoever things cannot be controlled. But, we can control ourselves and the way we respond to them. Which can be done by being cool and swag !!! We need to change our perspective. This can be done by being swag, seriously and this is gonna work. From the beginning, if we are good in a relationship and on the other side we care more for ourselves and be a spoiler too. It’s like keeping ourselves prepared for the future. It may indirectly mean to become selfish, and that’s the point I am trying to clear ‘Love to be selfish’. Then, no matter how bad  the relationship ends and you both get too emotional, you will remember being a spoiler. It’s like not giving a heck about anything, just because you were prepared for it. This is a lot more easier than reading many books of getting healed and finding ourselves.

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How many times are you gonna find yourselves for many of the heart breaks that has happened or will happen in the future? If we get a little bit of spoiler and selfish, then at least we will not get hurt mentally. Being a swag is like not giving a heck to the people who mentally strain us intentionally, provided that we understand it. Call yourselves confidently, that I am a vicious woman or names that we woman got from our society. To scare people away and not to hurt us in any way. Because, we know what we want and let’s swag together 😀 

 

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Story #1

Erika ran and ran, she was breathing heavily. ‘I did nothing’ these thoughts were going through her mind. ‘I did nothing’. She ran in so much speed with all the strengths in her body. Jumping over rocks and turning behind again and again to see whether the cops who were following her are gone or not. Unfortunately, she begins to puff and started breathing a lot of air, like she was choking and needed water. Her mouth was dried and she could feel the dryness of her tongue getting rough to the skin inside the mouth. This decreased her speed and with a horror of getting caught, she walked on her knees and hid behind a big rock. She covered her mouth to stop the noises coming out because of her choking.

“Where did she go?” said of the sheriff

“let’s check out this way, chuck”

It was late at night, Erika didn’t know the time because her watch had fallen somewhere while she was running and hiding for sheriffs from 2 days. She closed her eyes and tried to control her hunger, the enzymes in the stomach has started to corrode from within and it was hurting a lot. Still helpless, she could not call anyone. What she could do? People were misunderstanding her and wanted her out of the society. But now, she just needed food!!!

She remembers a week ago, how she had found her friends murdered. That’s when this problem started and she was the first suspect. ‘Alone! Now am forever alone’ Tears rolled down her check as she was still hiding behind the rock in whim forest.

Left with no option, she had to come out for her daily bread. Eventually, she had started feeling nausea and dizziness, as if she was an old granny, she walked slowly, sweat socked in her dress and gave a foul smell.

After walking 1 km, she saw a beam of light coming among the trees. As she moved aside the leaves and saw clearly, she saw a house, not a house but a restaurant with a big board ’Dine In’. She ran and ran, to reach the restaurant as early as possible.

The lights were off and she lost all the hopes of getting something to eat. But, she noticed someone was moving inside. She knocked at the door.

“Dinner’s close, sorry” said a man from inside

“Please help me, please, just one plate of some food and nothing else” She begged

“Hmm” The boy who was in her twenties came and opened the door

“Ma’am, just wait, I’ll bring something to eat” he saw the poor girl and took sympathy on her “okay, come in”

Erika went inside; he looked after her as his customer.

“I can’t pay you, I don’t have money”

“Its fine” he took the plates to keep it inside the kitchen

Erika could see that the boy’s name was Jimmy, which was written on the badge of her shirt. She liked him; at least there was one person who is kind to her.

“Ma’am, what’s the matter, you should not be roaming outside in such bad condition. Did you have an accident?”

“No, but I can’t explain”

“Do you know sheriffs are looking for a maniac girl who had murdered some people last week like horrible?”

Erika was speechless now.

“If you want then I can drop you home”

“Sure, But I don’t have a home”

“You can sleep in my home, but in the morning you have to leave”

Erika got tears in her eyes. “Ma’am, just don’t cry”

“Can I hug you?” Erika stood to go near him “you’ve been so nice to me, I love you”

Jimmy held out his hands so Erika could hug him

She held him tightly and rested on his shoulder. He caresses her with his hands and waved it in her hair. “Stop crying, everything’s going to be okay”

“huh” Jimmy tucked this words out with a expression of horror and saw Erika’s face as she moved up her face from his shoulder and smiled at him like a monster. Her teeth were filled with blood and she had bitten Jimmy’s shoulder.

“Who are you?” Jimmy screamed as he shoved her away

“Am the maniac” She said like a devil

“You. You…” Jimmy was helpless as the bite was so deep, he just tried to run but slipped over and fall down.

Erika came and bit him in the neck and drank his blood. She started tearing his body like a piece of meat was in front of her.

In the morning, she threw her blood stained clothes in the dustbin and wore a pair of shirt and trouser she got from his home which was behind the restaurant. She brushed her teeth with Jimmy’s toothbrush and removed the bits of flesh from her teeth and cleaned the blood messed up in restaurant and hid the body. Then she went again on the hunt of her food!!!

So if you come across some alone lady who needs help beware she must be Erika!!!  azure_53f16de3e15d7e18ce6dc01b235d6d8f

A part of my dream

I always fumble
couldn’t help, mumble
in my dreams
I stay up all night
or wake up violently

I want to grab my phone and call you
to talk for hours and hours
till my soul is satisfied to the deep
now it can be done only when I am asleep

I die every night
and wake up at morning
like everything is alright.
Because, I met you in my dreams
with a hope of attention
A ray of coming back to me

I was about to make a deal with a demon
to let me sleep in peace
don’t scare me
with their darkness
And your love which was hollow and empty

I begged demons
in my unilluminated sleep
to get me back on track
in the return of something

I want to erase the part of you in my memory
to steal away those times I was with you happy and merry

Demon asked me for my soul
But I couldn’t trade it
my soul loved you
I won’t share it with anyone just like it

Demon forced me to deal
to accept the agony
Sufferings was on both the sides
but, anyway I wanted to heal

Before I could utter any words of acceptance
you pulled me away
took me to the safest place
I could ever be

I fumbled stupidly
And mumbled something
Then I was awake
Sad and broken
Finding you weren’t there in reality
But you were in a part of my dream !!!

Echoes

I feel a burden on me.
Like I have lost a precious key.
Some days I try loving a lot,
Some days I just get tired.
And stop trying to become the one I am not.

Though there’s smile on my face.
I behave like I am lost in space.
There’s something killing me within.
Or else, I just imagine.
I go deep in my mind.
To see what’s bothering me inside.
I see you having a talk with me.
Your eyes with a glint of shine.

I feel not to let you go.
You made me feel strong, but now I am so low.

Your voices are echoing inside my head.
Each and every word that you had said.
There is no way out of this anymore.
I am stuck inside a locked door.
Only one way that I can see.
To lay a burden on me.
So you can be free of me.

The saddest part

When people turn their face away.

And we couldn’t find the way.

When all our efforts goes in vain.

To bring things back again. 

Even if we did nothing wrong,

People will want us to play along.   

When even in spring,

Thunder strikes us.

When even in summer,

Cold surrounds us.

We lose all hopes to be loved back as before.

And, we start living indoor.

No matter how nice we try to be, 

People will make us feel like a black sea.