Have you ever tried fooling with the best friend of your crush?
I remember, how I was dragged into it…
I can still remember my life before that. I was aware of shitty people, I Know to not believe people anymore! And, here I am, writing about the hell of the story with two boys. One was my love-interest and another was his best friend. I was on the verge of my post-graduation, working in their lab, always in merry, I knew I was only responsible for my own happiness and still, somehow I fell into the trap just because I thought to give another chance to hope and love.
I was new in the lab. Minding my own business. I never wanted to make friends there because that lab was named in the blacklisted lab of my research college. But, I did not know the whole thing. The lab is considered to be the most resourceful, rich, and consists of the most famous playboys. I was unaware of the names. Because they were not considered so important to talk about in my circle of friends.
Well, it all started when they started accepting me in all their outing, birthday celebrations and I became their so-called temporary friend cum entertainment, the reason was my frankness. Everyone liked me. Still, I tried to be weird and not to make any friends.
Suddenly, one day there was a rumour that Gunjan likes me. He was one of my Mentor’s best friend and pursuing post-doctoral research. Well, he was handsome and smart, use to laugh at me, made the environment light, and the most important I was given a computer bench beside him. So, he had a nice view of my phone. I have caught him looking at my phone when I was messaging. I complained about him watching over my personal messages to his best friends, Akhil Sir (my mentor), Manish Sir, Jayaram and Kalidas Sir. But, no use. He continued to exploit my privacy.
One day I was in the HPLC lab to sort some calculations. Gunjan said he can help me with it. He stood behind me and kept his hands tightly around my breast to write the calculation. He held me so tightly that I said, I had to go. But, he did not leave me at once. I tried to restrain his arms around me and then he left me. I was in shock for the rest of the day. I couldn’t go in front of him. I also avoided to talk to Akhil sir and even did not want to go in that lab again.
Some days later, in the middle of reading a research paper, I was seated between Akhil sir, Kalidas sir, Gunjan and Jayaram called me just to show me a middle finger. I tried to be sporting and asked him to stop that because it’s all is getting recorded in the CCTV camera. Well, he continued to do it and I had warned him that I can complain about this to a higher authority.
Well, after that I have always ignored him. I knew the freak he was.
Whereas, Gunjan tried to be all the nice guy with me. I am speechless about the ways he went to impress me. He asked his labmates to be good with me, he even handled the wrong things sometimes I did in the lab without realising. And, that’s all a girl needs to like a guy. We were like so good friends. I still remember him. He was alright with whatever his best friend did and I am not allowed to go against him. Even though he knew my affection for him, he played along instead to put an end on it.
Everything got out of the hand when I tried talking to Gunjan about rumours of how he likes me. He blended the point into not have heard anything about it. There was a magnetism I have always felt towards him. Even when he wasn’t around, his magnetism has always called over me to be where he is present. I loved him having around. His arms were so strong. I remember his shirt folded up to his elbows. I even remember the colour of the shirts he uses to wear. I just loved everything about him.
By the time, I realised I should not encourage my feelings anymore. I started keeping him at bay. Obviously, the toughest and hateful situation was for me. But, this is how I could have saved our friendship. This made Gunjan so furious on me. He got angry about my ignorance. It felt so bad. I thought to confront him for the second time. I asked him about his disappointment, to which he claimed to be cool like he was all okay.
During that time when I was trying to figure things out, I met Jayaram as a friend. Yes, that Jayaram who showed me a middle finger. I realised to move on, I need to make new friends. I was sure that Gunjan was just infatuated towards me and he cannot give me a serious relationship which I had been looking for rather than fu*king around.
Jayaram (best friend of Gunjan) was an entertaining as well as a disturbing guy. He always disturbed me while writing a paper as I was seated right next to him too. Well, he was a super-senior to me and I couldn’t really want to back answer him and make our friendship worse because I was going through a rough patch with Gunjan already. People talked about me spending much time with Jayaram who was very famous as a playboy. I never thought Jayaram as that. I always saw him as a senior who can teach me a lot about chemistry. Yes, he was a genius of Chemistry. I really respected him as an intelligent person as I did for my mentor (Akhil Sir).
Things went good with Jayaram, flirting. I was okay! Well, this is what boys do! Right? But, again things got out of control when Jayaram tried to touch me inappropriately many times in front of some of his colleagues. This meant wrong! I was still tried to chill out from the situations. He was actually trying to prove that I am the one interested in him and wanted more than friendship.
Even though I was trying to save myself from Jayaram, I always had an eye for Gunjan. What he is up to! I wondered what he must be thinking about me, being with his best friend, a playboy and enjoying his jokes and company. People were like maybe I am Jayaram’s new girlfriend. Jayaram tried to prove to the whole lab that I was interested in him. He too tried to touch my breasts in front of his friends Ujjal and Devendra.
Jayaram liked to have me around. Many of my post-graduation friends, Nandita and Anjali, had very negativity to his presence. To which Nandita asked me to make Jayaram go away. I tolerated him most of the time, but that day I asked him to leave us alone. Jayaram got angry and left. He did not speak to me for a week. I tried to make things right but, he twisted my hand in front of the whole lab. He hurt a lot. And, that day I lost my temper. That day, I decided he will know my feminism and hatred to such playboys. The boys who want to degrade a women’s dignity. To prove them characterless. Such boys should actually burn in hell!
Gunjan had all the reasons to unfriend me and throw me out of his life. It was also hurtful and I still cannot get over him. Jayaram and Gunjan harassed me in any way. He had insulted me a lot afterwards. He had met a new girl to get married. He had found a suitable girl for marriage, he wanted to cut all the strings attached to me. Jayaram made everyone hate me. Bitching about me to everyone.
I am not writing the whole war story of we three researchers. They mixed the personal and professional lives. I was the one to be blamed. This made me launch a harassment complaint against them. Before that, I tried to make things right. But, they know to underestimate women. I just tried to remind them of women power. I could have brought a gun and shot them right on the forehead. No, I am not a criminal. I am a researcher. I won’t sacrifice myself because of some freaks, sex-addicts, fu*ked up seniors, playboys.
Gunjan made me realise that even if the guy insults and molests you, women don’t have the right to take a stand against the Man because he is your crush or senior. Maybe, women are destined to suffer on earth. But, I did what has to be done. Someone had to prove to him, women are always alone, but not made to be slaves. Even, when it comes to love.
I am at the starting point again. To not believe in people, to not love so much, hope can be dangerous sometimes. Gunjan has left the college and I emailed him good luck because I have passed the hate for him. They both are not worth for my hatred. Sometimes, I cannot stop blaming myself because I should have followed my instincts. I thought this could be the better people to take a chance for rather than messing it with my over-thinking.